Pen power helps friendship grow

I am posting this story online today for some reason – the reason, I’ll reveal later this month. This month also marks the 15^th year of my pen friendship with my Shimla-based friend I’ve never met. Watch out for the second entry in third or fourth week of January.
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"There is nothing worse than not having a friend, a helping hand, especially when you go through the tough days of teens unknowing whether you are a child or an adult," I often murmured.

Friends, was always close to the last word in my dictionary during my school days. It is not that I did not like having friends. Somehow, I was not lucky enough to find a good friend in any one of my classmates, family friends or neighbors. Everyone had a selfish motive. I searched in vain for several years wherever my eyes and hands could reach.

My journey through letters helped me find what I could term as "friends". They were friends but not the kind of I dreamt of. They weren't someone who would stand by me, suggest me whenever I needed one. But true, they were better than friends I had met.

And in January 1995, when I was in mid-teens, I wrote to Jyotirmoy Dutta, a boy of my same age from one of my favorite destination – Shimla, a hill station in North India. I should mention here, I started writing to him mistaking his name for a girl’s! It was after 2 or 3 letters I realized I was writing to a boy. We both shared information about our place of residence, common interest and occasionally discuss studies. Again, it was just like any other pen friendship. I couldn't hear his voice or discuss anything the moment I wanted to. He lived several miles away. I was in the Southern tip of India and he was living close to the Northern tip of India. But, the gradual growth of our friendship gave both my friend and me satisfaction.

Beginning with one-page writing, the length of letters started going high till it became eight to ten pages of full-scale papers. We would write to each other at least once in a month and occasionally the frequency would even go to two letters a week, when the contents of each letter were short. We stopped giving each other time to receive the other person's letter. If there were anything to convey we would write and let the other know. We supported each other whether we were going through the rough times or we were through the best phase of our lives.

My mom once asked me, "What is there so much to write?"

I didn't have an answer. I know he was just one friend to whom I could write anything, without feeling the "distance factor."

He would mention his confusion in choosing the next step in his daily life. Career was one such. At several stages, he put forward a question of education or career and I offered my suggestions. He remained true to his words of remaining as a good friend, supporting me when I was in a dilemma.

We extended our helping hands to each other often. We both knew even if our friends who lived with us, who knew us face-to-face since childhood leaves us, we both would remain good friends. And by then, this realization bit on me – he was exactly the kind of friend I was searching for since I was a kid.

We continued as good buddies for ten long years. I don't mean to say this friend has disappeared from the scene. With me getting married in 2004, he has become a family friend. We no more write letters as time doesn't permit and I have my dearest friend, my loving husband besides me; but we keep in touch with this friend whom I have never met personally but only via emails and phone calls.

Both my friend, and I even today believe we remained true to each other during adolescent years and helped each other sail through the rough times with the help of a pen and paper! And to my friends and acquaintances, who always doubted if pen friendship would last – I would say, this is the best friendship I’ve had in my life – with no selfish motive – as a true friend!